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19 October 2014 @ 05:35 pm
- when we're kissing he'll just suddenly stop, lean back and look at me. I ask him, what? He says. I just want to take it all in. You look so beautiful right now.

- He said he doesn't know why he can't resist me. He can't have normal conversations with me without wanting to kiss me.

- "Yea...." XD

- At Howl O Scream. I told him I only agreed to go because he makes me feel so safe and I trust him. He said, seeing me so scared and vulnerable made him want to protect me. Aww.

And this is my favorite.
- When I'm studying and looking down at my notebook, he tries to steal a peek at me. And when he thinks I'm about to look up he has to stop so he doesn't get caught. Hehe.


Hehe this is super cheesy and lame but I want to remember all the cute things he said ^_^

We went to the Dunedin Craft Beer and Crab Festival today. Brought a blanket and watched the concert at the end. I sat in front of him and leaned back into those arms of his. I loved that feeling. Being wrapped up by him. Especially when he kissed the side of my head.

God, what am I getting myself into???
 
 
18 July 2012 @ 03:59 pm
testing out Dan's new camera :)



 
 
21 April 2011 @ 01:41 am
Ftw  
Today FTW = fuck the world.

it was such a shitty day and idk why. I was thinking abt that cheesy saying 'money cant buy u happiness' and how true it is. I thought I'd be happy cos i made $114 in tips by the end of th night but i was still pissed off.
The stress of this place is getting to me. I was stupid to think i could handle school plus working here everyday.
Maybe its my period coming up. I had a headache all day. Then i got pissed at dan for something silly. And now im pissed cos i didnt finish my hw and spech. Ughhhh.

only 2 more weeks of this shit!!! I can do it!!

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08 March 2011 @ 02:59 am

Ugh. So I thought I was a conservative person who mainly stayed out of drama. Well this weekend reminded me how careful I need to be about what I say and how I act. I'm worried I've already started drama at dans new restaurant with all the servers. GD I should have been more careful. I let my emotions get the best of me. Granted, this girl *was a skank and a bitch but I didn't have to get her fired. I complained so much and made it obvious that I didn't like her. But at least it's nice to know that dan listened to me.

Sigh. A mature person would not have acted this way. I need to watch my mouth!!

Oh well. I see it as karma. I knew she had it coming but I didn't think it would happen so soon. She was a disrespectful skank who tried to hit on my bf. And she got demoted, possibly fired. Ha that's what's u get bitch.

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12 February 2011 @ 04:08 am

Is it normal to be looking at other guys this much when I'm in a relationship? Like i would never do anything but I definitely think about what it would be like.... Omg that sounds so bad. It's like I'm cheating in my mind. I always said it was unrealistic to think that ur bf would never be attracted to anyone else, and that it's ok as long as u dont act on those feelings. But this feels wrong....

I would never cheat on him. But why am I thinking thoughts like this so much... I dont think it's healthy.

But. When I really sit down and think about just us. Just him and me. He makes me happy. And I wouldn't do anything to hurt him. So I guess that's all that matters for now :)

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24 January 2011 @ 12:55 am

Hehe my resolution was to be more positive. But this place is turning into vent central!!! Haha. Well i am happy abt some things right now. My relationship with my mom n sisters is better. Im happy with dan (minus the nightclub situation, but ill deal with that when i happens) school is going good so far. Not too stressed and my skins getting better. I still have a lot of good things going for me :)

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24 January 2011 @ 12:51 am

Im too considerate for my own good. When i stop caring about people is when ill stop getting hurt. Everyone is so selfish these days, but i cant get it past my head that everyone isnt like me. These people around me are so superficial and i keep falling for their bs. I want to have friends but not at this expense. Shiiit. I need to toughen up n stop carin so much. Basically learn how to be just as selfish as everyone else. Ugh. Theres gotta be a different way....

Or maybe im just too sensitive.
Goddamn fuck this shit. I need a personality overhaul. I wanna be an unfeeling bitch so ill do whatever i want without caring how it affects other people. Thats how everyone seems to operate now these days. Every fucking man for himself. Yup thats real friendship.

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15 January 2011 @ 04:00 pm

Blagh. There is nothing in my life that makes me happy right now. All i can think about right now is the future but even that to me doesnt seem too promising.

Im going to quit school and just live off the stock market. Hehe i wish.

Sigh. How can my longterms goals be enough to take me out of this depression and motivate me. Its showing in my face right now too.
I feel so bleak and lonely and like theres no point to any of this.
Im failing miserably at my new years resolution!!!! Goddammit! I thought i could do this alone but i cant! Even if i try to block out people and just focus on school by myself, my isolation just makes me more aware of my loneliness. We need social interaction to get through. I dont know what to do or how to deal!

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09 January 2011 @ 04:06 pm
I've come to the conclusion that I am a neurotic.
I used to think neurotic was a term to describe an OCD-ish person, someone who is obsessed with making things a certain way, a perfectionist or something. But recently I saw an article the other day that used it in a different context: "someone who has a negative view on things." According to dictionary.com a neurotic is one who is emotionally unstable or constantly anxious. It really surprised me that I could fit into this category. I mean, I never thought of myself as emotionally unstable, but I definitely have a negative perspective on things, and the two must have a correlation.

My sisters and I are very negative. We bicker and complain. This is how we talk, so we're used to it. But when my cousins were with us last week, I noticed *just how much we bicker. It's probably not very enjoyable. I had a roommate in Japan who blew up at me. I was completely taken aback. On the very last day of our trip, she told me our host family was taking us out to eat pizza. And I was like, oh I don't really want pizza. And she exploded. She said if she had to listen to me complain one more time, she was going to kill herself. I was like wth? I don't complain. I love it here.... which was true. I loved it in Japan. But she took my conversation as complaining. I don't know if its nervous habit or just our tendency because I grew up spoiled. I was happy in Japan (albeit a little bit homesick and nervous) but my roommate thought that I hated it.

This is my real new years resolution. I made small ones, such as trying to exercise more and read more books. But really, I want to try and be less negative. Maybe I'll be less stressed. I have a friend who you can't help but like because she is always smiling, always positive, even in awkward situations. She's so nice to everyone. I don't know how she does it. My first instinct when I meet people is to put on my "bitchface" out of sheer shyness and uncomfortableness. I'm so guarded. I'm not even that close to this one friend, but she just makes you feel good because she's so nice and open.

Be positive. Be nice.
Smile.

Ugh this is going to be so hard. why is this so unnatural for me? -_-
 
 
16 December 2010 @ 02:56 am
All A's and B's, except for Anatomy.
I'm still gonna try =)
I can't apply this semester. But there's still hope for me yet!