I feel happier already :)

Things to do!

* go to the gym
* get Dan to work out! (I made him so fat :O)
* fill out registrar forms for Bio and Orgo2
* buy tammys gift!
* apply for summer study abroad
* get japanese books from TH


It feels good to have goals, even if they are incredibly short-term. hehe.

This is the second night in a row that I can't sleep. It's fucking 4am. I was about to pass out at work from exhaustion, but now that I'm in bed I CANT SLEEP! I really wanna go to the house and get Tammy's sleeping pills.

But seriously. I don't know why I'm so stressed. My mind keeps wandering and I'm feeling so over-whelmed and crazy. I mean, I've felt like this before but its never kept me awake *that* long. I usually drift off after a while. Now I'm just restless and worried and stressed. What's wrong with me? I'm never like this.

Maybe I should see a counselor. I need to talk to someone about this. About my life. I want a therapist because I need to know what I'm doing!

I hope this is just a phase. I got my period yesterday so maybe I'm being a crazy hormonal beeyotchhh. yeah that's probably it. Stress hormones in overdrive and all that crap.

I'm gonna wake up Dan. I miss smelling him :)

B l a !

I should be studying. I planned to pull an all-nighter because I have two tests tomorrow.
So of course I'm updating my dead livejournal.
Anything to put off studying! :D

I was reading through my old entries. They're so cryptic, I have no idea what I'm talking about in most of them! LoL. Well here's a random update. I'm almost 21 years old. I have a boyfriend. My parents are making me live in a dorm because they no longer "trust me" and they're thinking of making me move back home. Apparently I need to be monitored.

I am almost 21 fucking years old. What the fuckkk.
I got into so many fights with my dad over christmas break. When I came back to school this sem, I thought he was going to be my "estranged" father who I never spoke to because I hated him so much. Well actually I'm not sure that he isn't going to turn out like that. But last weekend he gave me back my car, so I can only hope.

Aaaaaaaand. Still no idea what is to become of me when I graduate. I'm still BMS. probably will change to Biology soon. I'm not even sure when I'm going to graduate because its so hard to get an advisor :(

On a happier note... <3 Happy 7 months bum! <3 ^_^

So... I'm gonna be a sophomore in a few weeks. No longer a college freshman.

Freshmen year wasn't what I expected. I've changed so much from high school and I don't know if it was in a good way.? But I don't know if that matters because I still hang out with my high school friends the most and they haven't changed at all. haha.

so yea. some things I regret, a lot of things I'm glad I did. but in the end... its all part of college isn't it =]

p.s. i have a hot date tonite hehe.
*sigh*

around noon, Friday June 1.

4th time's the charm.

Bah. Everything is so weird. After a horrible Monday/Tues, tonight's practice was actually fun. I don't know why it was so different.

I met a lot of new people. It feels good to talk to people I guess. I went to the Binibinig meeting with Ly, just for the heck of it, and I ended up going to Coldstone afterwards with... Ian, Candace, Romel2, Tim, and Josh. And then practice was fun. and right now I wish I was still there, but Ly had to leave early.

I decided I like 2 guys. Hehe. My friend thinks one of them is gay. Ahhh, I hope he's not. He's so hot... But its ok I guess, cause he's the one I don't have a chance with. :P

maybe I won't quit AFS after all. hm.

GAH.
I'm so fucking pissed right now.

But I learned something I think. When you really need something and it seems like the whole world is against you, just suck it up and do what you need to do. In the end, it comes out better than if you had just given up. and 2, always confirm rides home -_-


Buttttt. I don't wanna focus on this mess. Channel anger out. [WTF am I gonna do tomorrow?!]
So I will just think about how cute chem lab guy said hi to me in Discovery. [FUCK]
and listen to Jesse McCartney. [I HATE LIFE.]

baby don't be gentle, I can handle anything ~~

SO I just met my RA yesterday, 3 weeks into college. Of course he has to be cute. And its really weird cause now that I finally met him, I see him everywhere now. Case in point:

Einstein bagels - waiting for our food
Me (whispering): Isn't that our RA?
Aditi (very loudly): Where? Oh, no our RA is WAY cuter than that guy!
Me (hissing): No, there!! [right in front of us..]
Aditi: Oh...
-_-

and then we saw him at the cafeteria. and then he was in the common room. what if he thinks we're stalking him?! well actually he *is* really cute, so if he wasn't my RA I would probably stalk him anyway. haha.

Mmm, cute guy on the AFS Dance team too. Last practice, we partnered up.. we were supposed to face each other to practice, but he wanted to stand behind me and we kept messing up and laughing. The choreographer was like, "Hey! Why are you 2 messing each other up! Quit fooling around." Hee.

Oh god. had the *wierdest* dreams today. I was in bed all day, trying to get better before I went back to school and I kept shifting in and out of sleep.

( #111 )

The second one is the scariest one I've had in a while :(

( #222 )

After that I couldn't sleep. So I went downstairs and watched vaca-vids with the rest of my family.
Now I'm back in my dorm trying to get caught in all the HW I couldn't do this weekend. Guh. Being on LJ doesn't help.

Eek. What if I have another creepy dream tonight? :( I'm all alone this time..

ughhh. I came home for the weekend, looking forward to going shopping with my sis, but instead I come down with the flu. :( I think I got it from my suitemate. Gah. I can't breeeeaaathe!

College is boring so far. My room-mate moved out to join a sorority, so I have a room to myself. :D Which is mostly good... I mean yeah, sometimes I get lonely, but my suitemates are right next door. I haven't talked to the girls across the bathroom (its 2 adjoining rooms of 4 people, so 8 girls share a bathroom), they always stay on their half. Ah well, I hang out with D :)

I don't have a 'group' or anything yet, but I already put in a transfer request to move to the Honors dorm. Cause Kappa SUCKS. It's on the edge of campus and its like the oldest dorm.

guh. head too stuffy. write more later.

Is it weird that I find cleaning the bathrooms at work somewhat calming? It's a nice break after "Hi, how are you? Table or booth?" *fake smile*

dammit. I don't get out of bed early enough to type of my dreams. this isn't going to work. All I can remember are random snippets. and they aren't even from the same dream.

- Sean from work was trying to steal my pads for his gf Liz. (in real life, his gf is Cassie...)
- Me and Steph stole a car.
- I was trying to kill Sofia R. (that was really random)

My memory sucks so bad. I need to be more un-lazy in the mornings.

Hehehe. Just posted my first tutorial here and here. I'm scared lol.

ughh. how am I supposed to dream if I'm staying up til 5am doing weird things like this?

I think my computer is going to explode from all the things I downloaded o_O
darn you LJ.

( so when I finally *did* go to sleep... )

That's all I remember. I don't get how people can remember all these little details from their dreams. I can't even remember what I said. only.. vague plot things.

That was a dumb dream.

After hours of listening to random songs with snippets about dreams, I finally settled on a name that has nothing to do with dreams.

It's from that nursery rhyme about my name. Maybe I should make this my personal journal instead.
Ah. whatever.
For now, this will be my dream log. I've been meaning to start one for a while now, but I've just been lazy.
I've been having the weirdest dreams lately, thats what sparked this sudden un-laziness.
Ok. Off to go find cute layouts/icons ^_^